Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...

Signing my latest appearance in "The Wire" for my adoring fans in South Beach! ;)

I can't believe that two-and-a-half weeks (now three) have come and gone so quickly. Like the blink of an eye: I came, I saw, I (almost) conquered. I had the time of my life, and believe you me - it couldn't have happened without the help and generosity of Uncle Alexis, Ian, Chris, Mark + Luis, Ricky, Ditmar, The rest of the Palace Staff, Mattie May, Andy, Rilito, The other remnants of The Seventh, My Cuban Friends, My Mexican Friends, The Paparazzi of My Adoring Fans (aka The Wire), and of course - I couldn't have done it without the boys in the bathrooms or the stalkers in Flamingo Park. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all!! :-)

Time really flew, and I don't know how. I mean, I know time marches on, but - wow! It was so nice to have a "place of my own" (Thank you, Chris!) that I could come and go from whenever I so chose, to be able to take care of myself, and to be able to see my friends almost daily. Nothing in the world can compare to the camraderie that I have with the friends I have made in South Beach, and I am eternally greatful for that. Now, I know it was "vacation" so it doesn't exactly match up to what it's like to live there. Mattie May said it best at Seven when he told me "This isn't reality, and you have to realize that. If you live here, you won't be going out and seeing everyone every day of the week. This really isn't reality!" I then proceeded to drop my glass beer bottle of Corona and sent glass shards flying. It somehow highlighted that poignant thought by Mattie. I officially dropped my first alcoholic drink on my last evening in South Beach - my trip definitely went out with a bang! (To make sure no more bangs were had, Mattie suggested I have a Miller Lite, which comes in a plastic bottle - lol! The sad part is I hadn't even drank before I dropped the Corona, so I did that sober lol!)

I guess I digress, but how can one sum up almost 3 weeks in the land of sunshine and happiness without touching on various points of your trip there. It was just an A-MAAAAAAAAZING time! Sure, the dinner between "The family" never got to happen, but we were all pretty much together during my last Saturday in FL at The Palace, and that was equally as special. Just for me, Uncle Alexis threw a new event at The Palace on my last night in town - a pointing fight between a drag queen and a drunken fat lady. Needless to say for anyone that was there, you don't mess with a 6+ foot tall Drag Queen - Miss Tiffany won (and then some, lol!) I'm not sure if this event will be added to the roster every Saturday from now on, but I felt special to have been witness to the first, lol! If the video taken makes the Internet, I promise you that it will be the newest sensation on YouTube, lol!

So now I am back home in NY and missing my South Florida and all my friends and "family" there, of course. It's only been 2 days, but already things are back in the swing of how they have always been here - and I start school tomorrow to boot. However, this could very well be my last semester, and then I might be able to *finally* make the move down South in the new year and see how that goes. I'm scared that living there would be completely different from visiting there (I don't speak Spanish, don't have a job lined up, my reputation in the bathrooms, etc...LOL!), but it's something I really want to try with all my heart and soul - and something I want to make the commitment to do for at least a year of my life. I could always reevaluate after that first year. But I'd say that I'm 90% ready to make the move in the new year at this point, today. My parents don't necessarily NOT want me to make the move, but they put all these fears about moving so far away so that they hope to stymie me (what about money, what about living, what about work, what about this, what about that, what about the rainclouds in the sky!, etc...), but I shall overcome that. I really believe that, because of the wonderful people I have met down there and the kindness everyone has shown me, that should I move there - I wouldn't "fall through the cracks" as if I were to move to NYC, where I really have never been able to make any friends. In any event, here's to the future!

Thank you SO VERY MUCH ONCE AGAIN, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART to all my friends and family down there - who damn well made sure that I had the best 2 and a half weeks of my life. I will never ever, EVER forget your kindness and generosity, and most of all - your friendship. But, like the Governator himself once said, "I'll be back!" :-)

BOO! Only a few days left! :(

So, here I sit at Starbucks/Hear Music on Lincoln again, with only a few % left of battery power on my Laptop. I have to say that I am feeling rather melancholy as I have only a few days left in South Beach before returning to the good old Northeast and what should be (for now) my last semester spent in the Ivory Tower of Academia. While I do not regret anything and know that the next few months will be interesting and challenging in their own ways, I have to say that I'm going to miss South Beach and my wonderful and special friends down here. New friends are always made down here, and bonds between existing friends and "family members" are always strengthened. There is really nothing quite like being "right here" - you meet so many people just by going out and about, and by living your life down here. Of course you are going to meet the gays at the bars and clubs, but anyone who tells you that "South Beach is over" or "South Beach isn't gay anymore" is totally lying - you can't throw a stone walking on Lincoln Road or going into Publix without hitting another fag. Just try it!

I really hope before I leave on Sunday that I can have a nice "family dinner" with what remains of the 7th. This is an open call for Uncle Alexis, Mark and Luis, Rilito, Andy, Mattie May, Scott and Mattie, Ricky and Ditmar, and whoever else is down here that I'm sure I am forgetting to all get together for one nice dinner before I go. I love the clubs and the bars and whatnot (lord knows I get none of that while living at home with The Waltons, god bless em), but I really just want us to all converse, relax, enjoy a great meal, and be relatively sober. (Yes, I said sober, don't be shocked!). Anyway, one great dinner everyone? I'd love it! :)

Well, I guess I better get out of this mega-corporate-conglomerate-air-conditioned-coffee/music-chain and actually enjoy the fresh air, the swaying palms, the sunny beaches, the warm waters, and the stalkers of South Beach! :)

Sunday In The Park With George...

No, not Seurat, but some sketchy guy near Flamingo Park after 2am Sunday Night/Monday Morning.

So, last night (Sunday) was going to be a quiet night in South Beach. I had every intention of not going out and getting to sleep early. My liver and body in general needed the rest. Yet, after 12am I got a message from everyone's favorite responsible law school student Riley informing me that Ditmar, Ricky, and himself were heading on over to Twist and, apparently so was I. Now, I had left Rilito (his official name in Spain) much earlier in the night, after the Palace T Dance and stopping by Seven's happy hour. I was tired and just wanted to head off to Starbucks to use the Internet and then to get to sleep. Well - now I had to get my pants on and head off to Twist - b/c apparently Rilito never stopped drinking and was ready to move on to another establishment. When your friend calls you respond, and so I did.

Twist was it's usual self, although rather empty b/c it was Sunday night afterall. (There has to be one night of the week where those who live and work here rest up - right? right? right? I'm not so sure, haha.) I found Rilito talking to a man who was Italian and did not speak English (They conversed in Spanish). The Italian was at Twist b/c it was "Draq Queen Night" and he wanted to have an experience with a transvestite woman. Apparently he wasn't gay, but I swear he was putting the moves on Riley. Eventually Riley gave up when we spotted Ricky and Ditmar, and we walked about and carried on, leaving the Italian behind. Eventually everyone got tired and went their separate ways. I ran into some of my Cuban friends at Twist and hung out with them for a short while. When I made my way home after 2am to Chris' apartment near Flamingo Park I got the sudden creepy feeling that I was being followed. Not lesbian paranoia, this was the real deal. So, near the apartment I stopped walking dead in my tracks to pretend I was checking my cell phone to see if this guy would keep moving on. Unfortunately he didn't and stopped a few feet away from me. He started whistling some weird whistle (like a "Spanish" whistle, I don't know how to describe it - it wasn't a "Construction Worker/Woo-Hoo" type of whistle, but more a "come hither" whistle. I was totally creeped out. Do I go back to the apartment and let this guy know where I live or do I keep on walking just to see if he'll eventually go away? I decided I didn't want to be farther from where I was staying and went into the apartment. He kept whistling after me. I hid in the bushes once inside the gate for a while. It was honestly the only time I ever felt unsafe in South Beach but I did NOT like the feeling at all. It was a little hard getting to sleep, I kept thinking he would find me or something. But all in all I never saw him again, couldn't tell you what he looked like in the light of day, and was creeped out by the whole thing. Needless to say me and my stalker/park buddy won't be getting registered at Williams Sonoma, but feel free to send us an All-Clad 12-inch skillet anyway! LOL! ;)

Besides that sketchy incident, I have been having a fantabulous time here. I really don't want to go home at all. I know that I can (and WILL come back, and if I can land a decent job I would move here in the new year in a heartbeat!) come back, but I really, really, really do not want to leave next Sunday. I have met so many wonderful people, have grown even closer with all of my amazing friends and "family" that are already down here, etc. It makes me sad to think of leaving everyone and losing this inertia. Of course I have a family, friends, and pets in NY too and of course I miss them - but once I am here I really just feel like this is where I want to put down my roots, to grow, and create the future I know that I am capable of. Well, I guess I had better get out of Starbucks and enjoy the rest of the time I have left here before I have to go back to NY state. I'll try to post another blog before I go. I have been having a blast and sorry that I haven't updated more often. Really - every day has been sunshine, beach, seeing wonderful people, and almost tearing up from the kindness that everyone here has shown me. I may not have a man in my life, but I have a city in my life and, well - South Beach - I love ya! :)

A Shocking Scandal...

Greetings from South Beach!

I have not been able to get online too often, save for the occasional e-mail to update Chris on my adventure and his apartment, or the random checking e-mail and chatting on AOL for a bit at Hear Music on Lincoln road. HOWEVER, a most shocking scandal is occuring and I must use the Internet to stop these vicious rumors in their tracks. As the number one forum between me and my many fans around the world (I *AM* a South Beach celebrity, remember?) I have come here today not to update everyone on my vacation, but to squash these vicious rumors immediately.

I knew something was wrong the other night at Thomas Barker's birthday party at Buck 15, when an assasination attempt was made on my life. My dear uncle was introducing me to a gymnast made Jerry when a shotgun was fired from a hidden location. Jerry saved my life, moving fast with his glass cup and stopping the bullet in transit. Glass may have shattered all over the place, and a perfectly good paid for drink was ruined, but at least my life was spared. I believe a poison arrow was fired later in the night also, but that ended up sitting on a drag queen's hat as an accessory rather than piercing my flesh. But this was a sign that things were not safe for me here. Someone had it out for me on the Beach and I knew I had to be careful. These were dangerous waters that I was treading...

WELL, of all the things I least suspected - it turns out my dear Uncle was behind these most vicious attacks! That is right fans, my dearest Uncle Alexis, The Mrs. Astor herself was behind what happened at Buck 15. BUT - much, much, much worst than that is the vitriol he is spewing about me now on the Beach. Let me explain...

The other day, full of sunshine and all gay as the day is long, I called my dearest uncle to tell him that I had my first Publix experience. Publix is this phenomenal supermarket down here with all sorts of fresh salads, produce, store-brand products, etc. Everyone kept raving about it to me, including Mattie May and Uncle A. himself. My friend from New York, Stefanie, is also visiting down here and raved about it to me for 2 hours last week. So finally, this past Tuesday I had my first Publix experience - and I have to say that it was worth the hype! In any event, I phoned my dear uncle to tell him about having my very first Publix experience. He sounded shocked. He said, "Where?" I told him "20th and West Ave". He responded "What's over there?" I replied "Publix!" To which he said, "Oh, Publix! I thought you had your first public experience there!"

So, now it has spread around the Beach like wildfire that I am into having public experiences. Apparently my dearest uncle has let the word out. Now I always see knowing smiles from all sorts of vicious looking gentleman at all the bathrooms in South Beach. Whenever I am walking to Chris' fabulous apartment down Meridian, I get knowing winks from the gentleman that frequent Flamingo Park after midnight. I can't walk down Lincoln Road without hands reaching at me from the alleyways to try and pull me in to join the fun. The stares will not stop, but this rumor must: I am not, never have been, nor will I ever be into "public experiences!"

My dearest Uncle - I love you to death, but let us make peace and leave this sententious rumor behind us! :)

T-Minus 3 and Counting....

Yikes! 3 Days. 3 Days! 3 Days!I think everyone knows what is in 3 days, so I just wanted to give the official update. Yikes, I am totally unprepared, I better start doing laundry and tell the girls at the local church club to get the mail and water the plants in my absence! :)

Thank You, Chris! (The Person, NOT The Tropical Storm ;)

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you times a million to the angel known as Chris for letting me have a place to stay during my 2+ week trip to South Beach this month. Like the Scarlett Pimpernel himself he has rushed to my aid, and for that I am eternally thankful! I am so looking forward to seeing "the family" (I am starting to feel like we are a gay Mafia :), seeing old friends, making new ones, exploring South Florida further, looking for employment opportunities for the new year, and just hopefully having a gay old time. My legion of fairy godmothers (no pun intended - okay, it was!) are the best, and I couldn't make my trip without them. This visit is soooo important to me for so many reasons, and I definitely have a little tear in my eye, thinking of the greatness of everyone I know down there. Thank you sooooooooooo much Chris, you are A+ numero uno!!!

Unfortunately, Chris forgot to tell me that he has an evil-twin in the form of a tropical storm/potential hurricane. His evil twin is currently vacationing in the Caribbean, with it's eyesight on passing through South Florida itself. FLhurricane.com says that those in South Florida should "maintain vigilance on Chris". Whatever that means?!? It's expected to make landfall there sometime around the beginning of next week - which is precisely when I had planned on coming. Grrrrrrrrrr! I just don't want to be caught in the air, or caught in an airport in the middle of a tropical storm/hurricane. I don't think Beyonce could handle it - lol! Soooooo - my original plan was to come down Monday. Now I'm not so sure if that's a good idea? Should I come later in the week? Should I be crazy and try to come this weekend instead? (I have not laundered or packed a thing yet!). Grrrrrrrr me and my tropical storms/hurricanes! I don't mind if I'm on the ground, but with flying - grrrrr.

Chris I. - you are the *BEST*, but tell your evil twin of a Tropical Storm to stay away!!!! :) :) :)